Shocked...15 feb 2009

Last nite i heard a shocking news...i really dun know what to say and am speachless. but Anyways i wanna thank that someone for telling me, if not i will never know and be kept in the dark forever. I kept thinking and thinking and thought of many decisons and possibilities i can do. The wierd thing is that slept for a few hours...and woke up this morning quite refreshed..hmmm...dun tell me the news dosent affect me much??? or my mind had already expected this to happen..

This morning i woke up with a heavy heart....the wierd thing is that i didnt have any tears, i have no expression at all. There is some ideas i can come up with, however im not sure i should do it because i know im going to hurt even more people...at this period of time the only one i can turn to is God and i still realise family support is really important..im going church today.

I want to ask God alot of questions today...

"Even the closest cannot be trusted"

I told myself im going to change

i will change

and

its going to happen soon

say me heartless,

say me evil,

cos i really dun give a damn anymore

ive seen enuf of this world

i really need to fend for myself now...alone.

cos i know no one can help me, unless i help myself...

Those happy memories i will always keep in my mind i thank u all for these happy moments you all gave me.